| (no subject) |
[Aug. 2nd, 2006|08:34 pm] |
new update
the devil gave me nine whole lives and i plan on living every one to the max. like i did last night, unfortunately i think i left one of them in the taxi on the way home and have been feeling like ten bears all day. dog rough. must have had one bad pint or summit. coz i have been so ill today. anyways it was a good night out with beth, rob, sian, moss. went to meze and got very drunk :) in future i might only drink from 2 pint pitcher jugs its much better than boring little pint glasses. so yeah. anyways still no word as to when i will be starting at the meze but i cant wait, so if any of you cunts see me in there hello.
havent done any music for a while which sucks my axe has been over mike cath and daves house for ages so i aint been playing much but i am very itching to and get some jamming time in too. and me and kath had much chance to anythiung new either but soon soon, i will take over the world with rock n roll. was listening to silvertide in the car today, forgot how very fucking awesome that album was. um yeah thats it not much else to say.
John out
old update i forgot to post
ok that thing i said about not having any girls on my mind, scrap that one, i just had to get my lip piercing taken out for my interview today and the piercer in blue bannana who did it for me was quite simply one of the most stunning girls i have ever seen. i think my heart skipped a few. and then obviously when forced into a suprise situation talking to a really pretty girl i turned into a babling fool who didnt know his arse from his elbow. alas, cest la vie. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2006|10:25 am] |
sooooo yea
over kaths again though i think she is moving out today so wether it counts as kaths or not i dont know anymore, but im here. and im all tarted up too, suited and booted, ready for my interview later today, i think its at about 3ish. bit of a bugger cant get my lip spike out though, i think ive put it on too tight or summit and knackered the screw up but well see what i can do.
dont know whats going on with the gig tonight, i know kittyhawk will be playing but i dont know whether or not i will be able to do anything with kath becuse she is moving out and i dont know if well have anytime to reherse anything, obviously kittyhawk is the priority which is cool just a shame we couldnt squeeze more time in to get stuff nailed. but there are bound to be loads of open mike nights and parties etc to play at. were going to a party at alz house on saturday maybe that will be a cool time to unleash to the world the kath and john duet of love.
it was really cool to see alex and sian the other day, i aint seen em in bastard ages and its amazing how we can just pick up where we left off, thats one of the things i love about coming home, whatever changes its all kinda the same aswell. hanging with alex was as if i had seen him the day before and it was much awesome.
and my brain i think is royally fixed, not heart aching anymore, still have flashbacks to a time when i was wanted and loved by a girl but alas those times are gone and being my own person is a cool blast, miss alot of things but i guess when i find them them again (notice the confidence "when" instead of "if").
and the best part of it is that there aint no one on the horizon. which means i can just focus on me.
which in fairnes ive been doing for ages but meh.
anyways gonna watch some tv. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 27th, 2006|08:13 pm] |
ok explain my absense first, ive been blogging on myspoace with every intention of cross posting but not got round to it so ill give you a brief update with every intention of cross posting all future blog updates.
finished uni with a 2.2
went on holiday
cooked myself
came back, been bumming round kaths alot, i like it there, everyone is nice. got a suprise gig tommorow playing acoustic tunes with kath supporting kitty hawk drive.
also have job ointerview tommorow in olan mills to be a photographer which could be cool.
i am flat broke, cant even afford bus fair at the moment.
thats about it
i promise to do better at updating from now on
promise promise promise
J "the boy" |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|01:02 am] |
well here i am still alive, just. heart still beating, just.
been jamming with kath all night. time to turn in though, both got shit to do ommorow, she got work n i got dole scum stuff to do. she is helping me turn some of my prose into songs so they can be played to some kinda audiance, whether they end up being mates at [arties, or in a band, or just at open mike who knows. they are bound to go somewhere :)
feeling less lost now, starting to get my feet back on the ground, still got loads on the brain but i kinda hope it all goes away. my new start in life is just beginging. mising loads of people, lots and lots. feeling very distant to some nd very close to others. all a bit odd y'know. still dont know where my head is at which aint that much fun but the mood swings are starting to go away and the sleep is coming back and the control of myself is getting stronger day by day and generally feeling better bout myeself, so thats definately a good thing :).
i guess it all kinda comes together in the end. and been thinking alot about fate recently, but dont worry, i havent succumbed to its charms yet, still playing by ear but trying to maintain a laissz fare attitude. what will be will be let it get on with itself kinda thing. i cant change anything. so its a case of whether i wait for the world to move on without me or do i run ahead and let it catch up. i dont know.
one thing i do know is i know i want to be in a certain place with certain comapany who would feel a certain way about me. but i don think that is possible. lost interest n all that i dont know. i aint lost interest. and thats for sure. just wish i had handled things better and made better choices. but cant undo anything just hope for the best for the future. which is what im gonna do. who knows where this is going (life not this blog post) but itll be interesting finding out i guess.
whatever i guess
peak to yall soon
J |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2006|02:01 pm] |
right regards from newport. first things first i suppose, me n sam didnt work out as planned, i was too confused and all kinds of stuff and anyway yea so that ended.
birthday was epic, painfully epic. had a fucking blast nicely hammered etc. hung with gemma the two days after which was very much awesome. missing her and her sister like nuts up here. wanna catch the bus to burton and waste a day in the bay beer garden with her and sarah and mark n sma. miss you guys.
but yeah got really drunk the gemma and clive and nick at the ship on the tuesday, really pissed just in time for dad to take me home, always a good thing. and yes there were a few tears as i pulled out of exeter.
still hopefully after holidays ill be going back for a long weekend or so.
i miss devon,
newport is a shit hole, alas my shit hole but a shit hole none the less. i forgot just how bad and horrid it actually is. i need a sever night out too catchup with people to regain faith in it. caught up with a few mates but i definately think im in need of a tjs friday spectacular to get the blood pumping again, hung out with rob dearan the two kaths etc. drinking y know usual stuff.
music thing aint coming together yet, its impossible to get people to all be freer at the same time and im doing too much stuff aswell argh its all a mess. plus being stuck in ponthir dont help miles from fucking everything.
need to be playing music, gonna try and sort a third outfit aswell y'know so i aint all eggs in one basket, ive been writing loads and kaths gonna gimmie a hand putting it all together into songs at some point, need to get some hours in with her just mashing shit out.
so yeah, im bored at home cant get anywhere, no one is here. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2006|11:14 pm] |
oi oi update time.
well in case you hadnt figured already me n sam are back together and if anyone decides to tell me its a bad idea fuck off right now were big enough to make our own decision and mistakes i dont want friends to govern my life for me telling me what i should and shouldnt do.
its going well. obviously there have been hiccups because we slowly finding out whats changed between us and its a kinda fun experiance but has its ups and downs. we both know its gonna be hard and both wanna make the effort to see how it goes and hope it goes well.
everything is pretty much in line for the show on friday, its wierd that three years of work ends on friday and then its straight into the real world. so i got tommorow, external moderators wednesday, ellies birthday thursday (firehouse i think) degree show on friday, which will be a big ass party, maybe take it easy saturday ready for sunday my EPIC end of year and 22nd birthday party and sophies EPIC 21st birthday party at my house. hopefully will be of awesome attendance and will rock n roll until the early hours, or even the late hours of monday. (mental note to self - pace yourself). then clean up flat and bugger of back to wales. then a few days chillin lookin about maybe at jobs then 1st to 14th of july I may take a holiday in spain. no wait i will. and i can wait, just taking my camera and sketchbook. just me solitude, i dont even care results come out on the 4th while im away, it wont have changed by the time i get back.
then work, pay off credit card and parents, earn two months rent and a damage deposit then move to bristol with the angie monster woot woot. new start for the pair of us in a city we aint never been to. a whole bunch of cool new people to meet and places to go and pubs to find. flat to decorate etc etc. then job, then band, then new guitar rig, then bike. etc etc. then ill see what i fancy after that. see more of the world i guess. maybe with band or travel on my own back bumming place to place etc. still thinking bout getting a job in spain or south france in a summer in a few years. kinda thinking about a second degree in plymouth doing graphic communication. kinda thinking about getting a studio so i can keep printing, the long term plans are kinda hazy but i reckon i got at least another 40 years to get everything done.
so yeah
busy few months ahead.
oh yeah and got a few bands in newport possibly coming together which is mega cool :D:D:D:D
bout time i started gigging again i reckon.
but its all a bit hush hush at the moment, suprises for everyone, again hopefully :D:D:D:D
anyways i am knackered so night night all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|10:12 pm] |
time to update i feel
end of an era i feel, three years of strife and fun have ended, i have met some of the most awesome people i will ever meet who do not need to be named because they know who they are. i will miss you all. and the ones at home i cant wait to see you.
im scared by going back home, back to the life i tried to escape by moving to uni, going back home to struggle with my rents till i can afford to get away again. still gotta do it. im scared of never seeing lots of people again. im scared of seeing some people to rarely. im scared of going home a different person, the new person i have become isnt the person i was when i left especially after the last 10 months i have changed dramatically and the people at home dont know this new person with his new stories.
I have been on best behaviour and an arsehole, i have been a drunk poet and a sober logistic. i have been an artist musician and a failure, i have been jack of all and jack of none. i have had my heart broken and broken hearts. there are a lot of things i aint proud of but nothing i regret.
i have fixed alot of the problems i have created for myself.
i am proud to have finished.
i cant wait to show my back to exeter and i am gonna miss it whole heartedly.
i still dont understand my own head and doubt i ever will. i understand my heart even less.
i hope the people i care about stay close and i hope i stay close to them, i will miss them and dont want to be a fool and forget anything or anyone.
its wierd three years of art theory, technique education wind up in me painting a room black. i have lost faith in the art instution and regained faith in myself. bizzarely now i have finished i am more motivated to be creative than ever before. i am planning projects and works constantly. which i never did in uni, odd that huh.
but then i guess life is just one big project.
2 days in work, one external assessment, one degree show, one birthday party T-minus 13 days till im away and gone to home. never seeing some of these people ever again, people i have lived with and spent time solidly for the last three years. never doing things in places i have been to for the last three years again.
i cant wait for and i dread closure.
funny old world aint it.
J |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2006|08:17 pm] |
opened the bar again tooday so i am a very tired bunny, man cannot live on like 8 hours of sleep in two days, makes your head hurt and you get all cranky.
anyways, then did a good solid lump of work, its gonna be a close call getting all this stuff done for the 6th but trying, still broke, after last weekend i have no money and limited food resources. but i reckon enough stuff to survive on, then pay friday. not enough as i need but getting gradually financially on my feet again.
got suit for ball, and shirt and tie and shoes, so no worries there, going to a party after at my buddies house so that will be awesome, its gonna rule.
not seeing gemma this weekend so im going to an exhibition on sat night, its opening night of my mates photography exhibition and he really deserves it to work coz he has been struggling like fuck for the last two years and deserves this so much, i cant imagine being a single parent and going to uni at the same time must be incredible strain but i know he is shit hot and its gonna rule. cant wait to see his work up.
then sunday i dont know. might do some of my own work not uni stuff, drawings and some computer stuff start getting all creative coz i wanna not just for uni. i aint really done anything for just me except write for ages so that will be fun. also gonna try n get some jam time in with rob aswell, we gotta get some acoustic shit sorted before i leave. but anyway thats all maybes and possiblies but im just jabbering away at the keyboard coz i am bored.
possible at a party tommorow, dont know yet, see what gem wants to do, i know me n ed are gonna try n cook dinner for ellie and gemma, which could be exciting with limited resources and no money, but it will be exciting trying hehe, i really wanna learn to cook proper and not outa tins. fresh stuff tastes better and it aint rocket science, just takes time. ahh well, ill figure summit out.
blah still bored.
anyways
bysey |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 16th, 2006|12:12 am] |
better today much better, aint had no grief from anyone, hard day of dissapointment and failure in uni, but dont really care at all.
sorted things with gemma and were starting again and smiling all the way which is an awesome thing. going to get credit card tommorow for download festival, ouch, scary dary worrying as hell etc and all that but desperate to go so it is very much needed.
must get my arse to download.
had another awesome weekend, and wasnt pissed for the load of it. got compfy drunk but not battered and talked lots and lots and smiled lots and lots and it was all good.
met the three biggest scallys in exeter, woke a dog upp by saying you couldnt wake it up. loved sma turning purple, the list goes on. it was good.
now watching ross noble with the andy the ed and the ellie.
he is a very silly funny bugger, voles everywhere and running out of crapons and those little those things. quotes all round etc.
oh yea made a load of blokes in a pub laugh just by being wales on saturday that was fun. :D
ohy yeah and got another ring in my ear, but as with the lip no one has really noticed yet. never mind i guess thats a good thing because it means it suits.
anyways, back to noble.
take care dedicated readers and friends.
love you all
J |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 29th, 2006|01:35 am] |
once again everyones favourite soldier is back from the war.
a trio of wankers thought it was a good idea to kick my drunk ass to pieses tonight
i hurt a lot.
it sounds very 15 year old but the "grunger" "trendy" difference is tragically still to real
who would have thought walking home from the pub was so much fun
and the best thinig is i cant ring the person i want to
no answer
love n hugs
j |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 4th, 2006|02:21 pm] |
woke up at ten, loadsa energy,
went to every job agency in town, no job, grass cutting job has become unavailible, spent last 5 pounds on a copy of ben eltons dead famous to read in the bath and species, apparently its like aliens but with boobs and a pint of milk.
making a cuppa now.
got some hysterical texts from my housemate hannah about me being messy and she doesnt want me to have vistors because they leave a mess. so very very ironic.
i plan on cleaning the entire ground floor later because therer is not a single clean surface or single piece of crockery or cutlery anywhere. im in the kitchen now wondering how long this plate of curry has been rotting for.
alas
anyways im gonna go watch my film.
loves ya |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2006|07:20 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | victor wooten - classical thump | ] |
havent had the will to update in a while, the gig was awesome on friday, if your really interested ring me and ill tell you all about it
got drunk last night and have a massive headache. me anna and ed got battered on cheap win e and danced in my room, lots.
there was a keyboard at some point and anna finally played and i got to see it and she was awesome.
uber jealous, talented people are cool.
feeling a bit spaced at the moment, complicated things with my rents, no money, coming to the end of uni. needing a job while im home over easter on my own in exeter.
have no will power at all, kinda want uni to be over so i can get on wityh being a real person, but at the same time i wanna do lots more time here with all the awesome people ive met. and i have met some mega awesome people, like meeting anna recently has been awesome, we get on so well its just like a click we get on thing which is cool. n liz n luke n that lot. and ive met these guys in the last term, why couldnt they all have been here when i started, that would have been so much better, wouldnt be living with the animals i live with at the mo, they have pretty much all moved out and i swear blind there is nothing clean in the kitchen, everything flat surface everywhere is covered in stuff. its fucking horrible.
anyways enough of me being miserable i found this epic questionaire and i got fuck all to do so here we go
p.s. wildhearts make everything better
What time are you starting this?: 19.25
Name?: John Hallybone
Nicknames?: welsh john, butty.
Date of birth?: 18/06/84
Sex?: nah im tired
Height?: 5ft 6
Eye color?: varies
Where were you born?: Newport
Number of candles on your last birthday cake?: didnt get a cake
Pets?: in wales two cats and in exeter there is a rabbit
Hair color?:brown
Piercings?: three in left ear, a six mm tunnel in the right and a nipple ring
Town you live in?: Newport/exeter
Favorite foods?: steaks, awesome sandwhiches
Ever been to Africa?: No
Been toilet papering?: No...?
Love someone so much it made you cry?: Yep
Been in a car accident?: Yep
Croutons or bacon bits?: Croutons
Favorite day of the week?: friday
Favorite resturant?: little italian place down the hill from snappy snaps
Favorite flower?: rose
Favorite sport to watch?: Rugby, union not league, and stuff with engines
Favorite drink?: Jack Daniels straight mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. or lager and recently copious ammounts of cheap red.
Favorite ice cream flavor?: chococlate
Warner Bros. or Disney?: disney
Favorite fast food restuarant?: Subway or the sandwhich shop by halls
Carpet color in your bedroom?: mould green
How many times did you fail your driver's test?: twice rana red light, oops
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?: martian records or the internet
What do you do most often when you are bored?: Write a song, play other peoples songs, drink smoke
Most annoying thing to say to me?: anything about how important it is to get a job, and that it aint worth chasing dreams
Bedtime?: when my head hits the pillow
Favorite TV show?: supernatural/spaced
Last person you went out to dinner with?: dont know, but i want to go out to dinner with someone
Been out of country?: Yes.
Believe in magick?: nope
Ford or Chevy?: ford mustang
What are you listening to right now?: wildhearts best of
Have you ever failed a grade?: Nope
If you have, what grade did you fail?: What are you deaf?
Do you have a crush on someone?: Yes
Do you have a bf/gf?: No, and aint decided if i want one or not.
If so, what is their name?: that would be telling
What are you wearing right now?: red t shirt and denim shorts, same thing i was wearing last night, aint changed yet. i smell
Would you have sex before marriage?: Yes
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: Yeah
Are you a virgin?: nope
Do you smoke?: Yes
Do you drink?: Yes
Are you ghetto?: I don't understand.
Are you a player?: No
What are your favorite colors?: denim colour and red and black
What is your favorite animal?: gotta be the cats
Do you have any birthmarks?: top of head
Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: Yes, more times than i remeber
Who do you talk to most on the phone?: mark i expect.
Have you ever been slapped?: Yes
Do you get online a lot?: Yes
Are you shy or outgoing?: Quite outgoing
Do you shower?: yes
Do you hate school?: uni is awesome
Do you have a social life?: sometimes
How easily do you trust people?: very easily
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: many
Would you ever sky dive?:Yes definately
Do you like to dance?: I love to dance
Do you like to travel?: I love it
Have you ever been expelled from school?: Nope
Have you ever been suspended from school?: Nope.
Do you want to get out of your hometown?: Yes
Are you spoiled?: No
Are you a brat?: No
Have you ever been dumped?: Yes
Have you ever gotten high?: Alot
Do you like snapple?: Never tried it
Do you drink a lot of water?: yes
What toothpaste do you use?: whatever is cheapest
Do you have a cell phone?: Yup
Do you have a curfew?: Nope
Who do you look up to?: lots of people, mainly musicians. and happy people, and people who do what they wanna, nice people
Are you a role model?: umm i hope not
*fag break*
Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point?: Does not compute
What name brand do you wear the most?: None at all.
What kind of jewelry do you wear?:piercing suff and nothing else really, could do with some though
What do you want pierced?: another load in the ears, other nipple
Do you like takin pictures?: Lots
Do you like gettin your picture taken?: Yeah.
Do you have a tan?: when its sunny yea
Do you get annoyed easily?: there are two people in the world who can annoy me in abig way
Have you ever started a rumor?: dont think so
Do you have your own phone or phone line?: Yup
Do you have your own pool?: No.
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: Boxers
Do you have any siblings?: Yes a brother
Have you ever been played?: Yes
Have you ever played anyone?: No
Do you get along with your parents?: No
How do you vent your anger?: guitar and booze
Have you ever ran away?: Yes
Have you ever been fired from a job?: Yes
Do you even have a job?: yeeah at the mo
Do you daydream a lot?: yes
Do you have a lot of ex's?: 4
Do you run your mouth?: can do
What do you want a tattoo of?: a michaelangelo painting cross my shoulders for starters
What do you have a tattoo of?: None
What does your ex bf/gf look like?: tall thin etc
What does your most recent crush look like?: trouble
Whats her/his name?: that would be telling
Have you ever been bitched out?: Bitched out?
Are you rude?: No I mind my manners, most of the time
What was the last compliment you recieved?: that someone was glad they had met me
Do you like getting dirty?: I love filth
Are you flexiable?: Flexible? enough for my own means
What is your heritage?: Welsh
What is your lucky number?: 13
What does your hair look like right now?: dirty mess
Could you ever be a vegetarian?: no
Describe your looks?: tatty round the edges
If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?: red is tempting
Would you ever date someone younger than you?: yea
Would you ever date someone older than you?: yea
When was the last time you were drunk?: last night and boy was i drunk
How many rings until you answer the phone?: as many as it takes to get to my phone
Have you ever been skinny dipping?: Yes
When was the last time you went on a date?: never been on a date
Do you look more like your mother or father?: father
Do you cry a lot?: no
Do you ever cry to get your way?: No
What phrase do you use most when on the phone?: awesome
Are you the romantic type?: to a stupid extent
Have you ever been chased by cops?: Yes a few times
What do you like most about your body?: it works sometimes
What do you like least about your body?: sometimes it dont work. too hairy
When did you have your first crush?: anika rice
When was the last time you threw up?: ages ago like 2 years ago
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: blondes
Do you ever wear shirts do show your belly?: haha no, id get arested
What about cleavage?: my cleveage is awesome
Is your best friend a virgin?: No.
Have you ever fucked someone up?: i think so
Have you ever been fucked up?: yes
What theme does your room have?: a slap dash student feel
What size show do you wear?: what is a show
How are you feeling right now?: lonely and hungover
When was the last time you were at a party?: last weekend
Have you ever given a lapdance?: ues
Have you ever recieved one?: Yes
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: I don't think so.
What is one of your bad qualilties?: loud, little self respect, insecure
What is one of your good qualilties?: loud, the ability to hide the above
Would you marry for money?: No
What do you drive?: Nothing any more
When was the last time you cried in school?: no idea
Would you ever hook up with the same sex?: no, girls are prettier than boys
What kind of music do you like?: good music
Would you ever bungee jump?: Yes
What is your worst fear?: Being alone.
Would you ever join the army?: No
Do you like cows?: yea, with pepper sauce
If you were to die today, what would you do?: tell everyone who has affected me what i thought of them. lots of love to go out
If you had one last word to say to someone before you die, what would it b?: shit
Do you like to party?: hell yeah
Hearts or broken hearts?: Broken.
Moons or stars?: stars
Coke or pepsi?: Coke.
Favorite scent?: the kind of scent that reminds you of her.
Favorite band?:wildhearts
Would you ever dye your hair red?: Yup ^^^
How many languages can you speak?: 1
What time are you finishing this?: 19:50
was that as fun for you as it was to me |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 23rd, 2006|04:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | trivium, finally | ] |
wow been a while since i updated, been kinda myspace hooked for the last quite a long time, ah alas.
letting my LJ slip through my fingers like the sands of time.
feeling kinda wierd at the mo, kinda strung out without much purpose and all lost in my mind which is wierd coz i sorted out everything i have been thinking about recently, just gotta sort out a job here in exeter for a few weeks over easter so i can stay here and not be broke, which i am very much at the mo, really wish i wasnt, and i hate the fact that i owe so much money to so many people, its driving me up the wall. i hate hate hate being in debt to friends, the bank i can live with but not friends, alas, such is life, anyways...
*rolls ciggie*
so yeah, aint posted for ages, just keep checking the friends list seeing how everyone is.
nothing really to say.
oh yeah i had an awsome tutorial today and got my degree final piece sorted in my mind so that will be happening soon yay.
scared that uni is gonna finish soon.
looking forward to getting a place in bristol, thats gonna be awesome, cant stand the though of living at home for any extended period of time, need my own roof n independance n that, thats why i dont wanna go home, even though ill miss loadsa people.
i feel mega bad that i aint spoke to home people for so long. just emersed myself in my exeter life recently, getting on with as much shit as i can.
yeah, um thats about it really.
John out
wasnt that interesting. |
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| tried writing songs again |
[Mar. 13th, 2006|08:54 pm] |
i find the only way i can do it is just write n write n then see whats down on the paper and try to turn it then into melodies n that. Any ways, did loadsa writing today and this is some of the shit that came out.
every face tells a story
every pair of eyes holds smiles n frowns
memories of hurt and joy
good times and bad times
and what it feels like now
every smile has been bigger n smaller
laughing hard and frowning deeply
good times and bad times
and what it feels like now
weve all been there before
and were still here today
take the best with the words
but were here to stay
No one is perfect
but im trying
how long is forever
and will you never speak to me again
i admit defeat
i lay down my guns
i admit my faults
all of them
no one is perfect but im trying
i dont know what i want
and ive never been happier
constantly confused
blissfully unaware
my ignorance is bliss
my life is a mess
and ive never been happier
Organised Chaos
drunken fools
full of smiles joy and sharing
the netertainment has arrived
two people with a love of the world
a smile will cure all diseases and sadness for a fleeting moment
and then onto the next fleeting moment
every moment is fleeting but theres planty more to come
memories to make, smiles to make, friends to make.
tommorow may hold no joy but tonight were all freinds
and hopefully tonight will never end.
were gonna go at it with avengance
confess all sins, give back to the world what its given to us
good times for the good times
and twice as good times for the bad
everything will be ok tonght
well worry about tommorow when it comes
what everyone reckon? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2006|04:44 pm] |
dib dub was ace last night, and i wasnt too pissed, did an all dayer in the union with scott and then ate a pizza and kinda dried up n sobered myself, but then had a wicked time with all my ratted friends, taking the mick just a little. and i am such a flirt its shamefull. but alas thats just the way it goes, and i sorted some stuff out with liz that needed to be done to all extents and purposes. watched angie flirting with kev and that was hysterical because she was munted.
had a bad head all day today. starting to worry again about uni work. really need to pull my thumb out.
over annas tommoz evening being silly watching flims, we had a row over who was funnier izzard or gevais, this may end up getting bloody.
anyways back to my hangover
but some cool lyrics for ya first
miles away girl by the wildhearts
She’s always busy caring
‘Cos that’s all she’s ever done
She’s a thousand Florence Nightingales
All rolled up into one
And people take advantage
But she loves her fellow friend
With a slow, slow, count from ten
When strangers die around her
She still cries herself to sleep
And she seldom gets the chance
To pick the company she keeps
And the ring around her finger
Is a ring around her past
And a youth that couldn’t last
When people ask if she’s okay
She doesn’t even answer
Her mind is set on auto think
For heaven knows how long
With the body of an angel
And the features of a child
She’s miles and miles and miles and miles away
She’s the miles away girl
She’s the miles away girl
And she slaps miles and miles of smiles on every face
She’s the miles away girl
She’s the miles away girl
She’s the miles away girl
Right next to me
She sends a man to slumberland
With just one little kiss
Her silence is refreshing
And her honesty is bliss
She’s probably clairvoyant
But she never had the call
But that’s not long at all
Her heads up with the clouds
Because she knows that’s where she’s heading
The good guys think she’s different
The rest just think she’s weird
She doesn’t eat
She doesn’t sleep
She’s thinking all the while
She’s miles and miles and miles and miles away
She’s the miles away girl
She’s the miles away girl
And she slaps miles and miles of smiles on every face
She’s the miles away girl
She’s the miles away girl
She’s the miles away girl
Right next to me
And maybe you’re the angel
I knew that you could be
Well that must be the reason you bring out the devil in me
And deep under the covers
An easy place to hide
And imagine the world isn’t really going on outside
But you never seem to have any money
‘Cos the decent people never get paid
But it’s never really ever a problem
‘Cos you can get miles away
Miles away
Miles away
She’s miles and miles and miles and miles away
She’s the miles away girl
She’s the miles away girl
And she slaps miles and miles of smiles on every face
She’s the miles away girl
She’s the miles away girl
She’s the miles away girl
Right next to me |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 7th, 2006|09:23 pm] |
well ive had it on a rather grande scale from thursday throught o saturday night and now its sunday (oh dear john its actually tuesday you have over done it havent you) and im pooped. just had a lonely man micro meal for one n bought a six pack. spent two days in the company of first liz then secondly anna, film festing with liz and music festing with anna. general silly millarky all round.
Been learning loadsa stuff bout lots of people recently. Not in like an opinion changing kinda way but more of a interesting as a people watching kinda way.
aint meet in ellie midweek any more which is a shame but her fella/potential fella is coming down so its fair enough to blow me off.
tired as hell.
gonna sit online and do fuck all all day unless i get a phone call from someone saying come out for a pint then i may have to go have beer. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 5th, 2006|10:02 am] |
right last night.
the party at the union was rocking, real intimate nice birthday party, gonna get dib dub to play at our next house party aswell which is cool. me n ed tyhought the best plan was to kneck two bottles of the red stuff each then go to this party, but silly bugger decided he had to go to bed so i went on my own, unfortunately a bit worse for wear. anyways, then i was given a pill which gave me about 10 minutes of being a silly hyperactive prick before i crashed n burned on the sofa.
so this morning with no memory i woke up scratching myself until i realised when i opened my eyes i had no idea where i was and there was a girl shaking me telling me ihad to go because her landlord was coming round and i couldnt be there.
just got back, have head ache.
thats us all up tyo date then
good |
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| hello all |
[Mar. 4th, 2006|06:40 pm] |
hey everyone, all is good in my world. hope everyone else is ok. umm not really much to say.
bye |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 3rd, 2006|08:33 am] |
odeevil_jazz
Two names I go by...
john
yoink
Two Parts of Your Heritage...
welsh
welsh
Two things that scare you...
lonliness
unhappiness
Two of Your Everyday Essentials...
smiling
coffee
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now...
boxers
um thats it
Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists...
guns
wildhearts
Two Things You Want in a girl/guy...
honesty
trust
Two Things You Want Really Badly...
bath
talent
Two Places You want to go on Vacation
anywere with mountains n snow
anywhere with a luush beach
Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
live
bike
Two Stores You Shop At
no
money
Two people you haven't talked to in a while
1. Ellie
2. Charly
Two favorite web sites
livejournal
myspace
Two Favorite Sports
none
neither
Two People who will fill this out?
none
Two things you did last night
drank too much
upset various people
Two tv shows you like to watch
whatever is on
shipwrecked be good right now
Two places you like to go to:
sleep
my bar
Two Favorite People:
stace angie. the opnly people who ever bother to call me
Two Favorite Alcoholic Drinks:
jack, beer
Two Favorite Places to eat:
i havent eaten a real me`l in days let alone eat out
Two things you like about yourself (physical):
hair
grin
Two people you last talked to:
emma
angie
Two things You're doing tomorrow:
as little
aspossible |
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| methadone pretty |
[Feb. 25th, 2006|02:34 pm] |
tired, got in from dib dum last night, it was incredible, the music was soooo goood. then back to angies to party, run naked down the street at 5 in the morning etc. completely pissed. not too hungover just delicate, so yay.
got a letter saying i couldnt get money from the access to learning fund unless it was an emergancy. so ive gotta fill out another form and wait another 28 fucking days, fucking boo.
so i have no fags, no food, no beer money, no money for my course so laughs all round.
but anyway the sun is shining and spirits are high, caning work next week, done all the election crap out the way and thesis is done so i can focus on my studio practice n really go hammer n tongs at it, gonna work my fucking tits off.
came second in the elction, so i dont have the job but i beat the two people who i thought were gonna beat me in it so im chuffed i achieved that, i managed to pursuade a whole bunch of people to elect me just on my charm lol :D
so satisfied with that if not slightly disapointed, gonna take some time off the boooze because i dont think its doing me or the bank any good.
hopefully soon i can pay off all the people i owe money and that way im just sorting myself out.
gradually getting myself out of the shit from that pre christmas period where i went a bit off the rails, i dont think ive recovered entirely from it n still crazy in the head but im getting there, really optimistic bout sorting my life out at the mo, looking forward to getting myself a future n a life, thinking either bristol or plymouth to live in when i graduate, id like to live in exter but cant really afford it. angie was saying she is gonna get a house with one of her mates in bristol n they will be after another housemate, that would be cool as fuck. as ,long as i can get a shitty nine to five. been kinda thinking bout maybe doing n apprenticeship in something, get myself a trade, i know my degree is practically useless in the real world so a trade wouldnt go amiss, something to fall on if i dont become a rock legend :D:D:D *throws horns* \m/ \m/
yeah so thats bout it, cant find the words to explain how great my head is at currently, its wierd, im royally up the shitter at the moment, on the course, financially, relationship wise, ive lost touch with lots of my friends home and in uni, feeling massively segregated from society, dramatically unwell due to not eating, but so fucking happy n optimistic about sorting my life out and ensuring i stay happy :D
so yeah.
thouroughly (speeling?) appreciating my mates at the mo, like i do anyway but they are all sticking there necks out for me lots, even if its just a few beers in the pub its amazing that there doing it for me, i know its small things but i really appreciate it, last night stacy chucked me £20 and just said lok i know your good for it so chcuk it back when youve got it, just because she knows how much i waned to go to dib dub and that i was down about losing the election. i mean its just one night out which aint the end of the world but its just hugely appreciated. given that my house mates wont even let me use milk for my tea (obviously except ed he is amazing)
and ive started listening to the first manics album, i forgot how much i adore this fucking record, the other early albums are good but this one is just fantastic, and im really really in the mood for bleach by nirvana.
and ive met this really cool girl called anna, we kinda met before n just started chattin at a party but then i think i found her on myspace and weve been chattin n getting on really well. which is cool and has ACE music taste, not enough people listen to good music so i have someone whos brain i can pick for more music. she is really nice n funny as fuck which rocks, i like meeting people and just chattin to people, i cant remeber why i stopped doing it, so becase ive remebered to do it i might do it more, meeting more cool people is obviously a good thing. i think im gonna meet loads more new people, just because people are so interesting, and the more people i can chat to the more im gonna learn n find out and ill laugh more, i adore laughing and ive been doing it so much recently and its amazing i love, like just sitting around and then laughing in hysterics becuse someone text me a joke or something dumb. i love it. i dont wanna get down again, at least not for a very long time, ive had my massive down patch and i think i have definately started to get on the up again, so if you see me not smiling slap me n pull a funny face and make me laugh :D
oh yeah and ive found a bassist and a singer and a drummer. hehe, you know what that means, might be bringing the rock your way sometime soon.
a dude from uni, a mate through kate, and some bloke who knows a man i know, all up for playing just really bollox out dirty blusey rock n roll
fucking loves it
anyway, this is really long and doesnt say anything because im bored out my skull, gonna have a bath and watch some manga, obviously not at the same time, that would be silly
*ponders whethor or not to write any more random nonsense for all you lovely people to read*
*ponders whether anyone will read this far into the entry before getting bored and logging off*
*ponders love life n death*
*ponders if theres any cash hiding in the sofa*
*ponders giving bollox a good scratch because i havent in a while n its always fun*
*decides not to scratch bollox*
*ponders why im telling you all this*
fuck me im bored.
i know what im gonna do
this is a disclaimer :- from here on im just typing nonsense because its something to do. everything above is the real journal entry, everything below is just me entertaining myself.
im starting to feel tired, but i do have anew stolen hat, is an urban camoflage NY hat, a bit chavvy i know but it hides my messy hair when ive been out on the piss n done the walk of shame, and i have a baddy eye :(
i want someone to ring me n say hello just because they wanted to, biggest compliment in the world.
i want a cuddle someone, dunno why, cuddling n watching films all day coz there is nothing better to do would be ace, need to find me a pretty girl for cuddles, confusing place in my heart at the moment, still dont know what i want, have a few ideas, but thats all they are ideas, not used to not having someone there, been single now for 3 months and its dont me loadsa good, come to alot of conclusions about what i am and what i want, the space is amazing so i guess now i feel that if a girl moves into this space itll be good coz ive got rid of all the junk in my head, and decorated all ready, and theres a good cd collection, have i taken the metaphor a bit far there,
basically i think what that means is that ive sorted my head out, and if a girl who i like is nice enough to become involved with me or whatever itll be a much easier ride because i think ive lost all my head fuck baggage. thats good yeah?
i want to go to another house party, the last one was ace, i like parties :D
wanna dress up, need a reason to wear a cool fancy dress outfit, dunno what to go as
?
anwers on a post card.
*sings "one of these days in a chemical haze ill be just in lust with you" tunelessly but with enthusiasm*
music always always always sounds better with head phones on big fat chunk as fuck ones, cant hear the rest of the world just allll my tunes.
happy
cant imagine my life without music, some people i speak to rarely listen to music, how can you live like that, ive got to have music, whenever i go into my room, unless im watrching telly or a flim i suppose.
this really is all nonsense isnt it...............
*drifts into cloudy absent mindedness puts laptop down and goes to walk around the house to find something to have fun with, like a puppy or a frying pan, or maybe clothes pegs, how much fun can you have with pegs, im gonna go find out* |
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